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Around the Dinner Table Forum Recent Threads

Christmas in treatment?Open in a New Window

Wondering how you lovely people have managed dealing with Christmas while your child is in a treatment centre.  Our d is currently in treatment and will not be eligible for a Christmas Day pass.  She has never been away form home for the holiday before.  We are allowed to go do a 2 hour visit on Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and Boxing day.  D is upset by this but seems to be managing/accepting at this time.  What I am wondering is how you and your families managed.  I am having a really hard time keeping up and trying to keep things as close to normal as I can for our other d.  I am currently managing though it gets harder every day we get nearer the holiday and I realize my dear d won't be home with us.
How have you coped?

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'Around the Dinner Table' Online Forum for Parents and Carers

 

I feel so overwhelmedOpen in a New Window

Discovered uneaten lunch in the bin. D 16 ( dx Ednos restricting and purging) and BDD 2015/2016 recovered 2016 and discharged July 2017 from ED and declared recovered from BDD August 2017. Weight higher than had ever been. Eating well. Saw some BDD and anxiety recently but thought ED was in the past. D also has ASD so anxiety a given. D admitted has been dumping lunch. Handed over some hidden lunchboxes from her drawers. Not lost weight. Feel sick. I thought we were doing so well. She had also school refused for some of year 10 and year 11 but managed to get her EHCP and into small independent college with small class sizes this year. For sixth form. She has gone to college most days, some anxiety but not levels of previously. I’m out of energy

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'Around the Dinner Table' Online Forum for Parents and Carers

 

Informationen über FBT und Maudsley Therapie auf DeutschOpen in a New Window

Liebe Eltern aus Deutschland,
wenn ihr bis hierhin gefunden habt, ist ein großes Stück Weg geschafft und ihr werdet sicher Hilfe finden. Für diejenigen, die in der englischen Sprache nicht so fit sind oder Informationen auf Deutsch suchen, schaut bitte mal hier:

http://www.faz.net/aktuell/gesellschaft/gesundheit/magersucht-therapie-der-kampf-am-tisch-12848669.html

https://www.amazon.de/Gramm-f%C3%BCr-zur%C3%BCck-ins-Leben/dp/3407859473/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1512998824&sr=8-1&keywords=harriet+brown

https://www.aerzteblatt.de/archiv/79738/Psychotherapie-bei-Anorexia-Nervosa-Niedrige-Rezidivrate-bei-familienbasierter-Therapie

http://www.imabe.org/index.php?id=1454

http://www.pflegeportal.ch/pflegeportal/Familienbasierte_Behandlung_zeigt_bei_Anorexia_nervosa_die_beste_Wirkung.php

http://www.spiegel.de/wissenschaft/medizin/vergleichsstudie-familientherapie-senkt-rueckfallgefahr-bei-magersucht-a-722012.html

Ergänzungen sind jederzeit willkommen!
Tina72

Category:

'Around the Dinner Table' Online Forum for Parents and Carers

 

ChristmasOpen in a New Window

Hi

I know this is a bit premature, but my D is getting very anxious about Christmas and food. She did have a tendency to binge and purge before we began treatment and we obviously don't want this to continue. As I have posted previously, we are still in the early stages of recovery and she is not gaining weight. Has anyone had experience of this and support for how we get through the Christmas period? We have three other children, so it will be difficult to not have extra food in the house.

Thank you

Yellowcaty

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'Around the Dinner Table' Online Forum for Parents and Carers

 

Should I taker her to hospital?Open in a New Window

So, we were doing ok, D was fairly compliant until yesterday when it was very difficult to get her dinner into her. Today she decided that she will only eat what she wants to eat.
She has had:1 banana, 250g sourdough bread with flora and nutella, 350ml hot chocolate, 1 full fat yogurt and 1 cup orange juice. She has refused her ensure.

Her dad and me have remained calm and insistent. She has just spent an hour sitting rigidly, and only when i said I would get her into the car, then she went with her dad to the kitchen for the hot chocolate.

Should I take her to hospital?

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'Around the Dinner Table' Online Forum for Parents and Carers

 

FBTOpen in a New Window

Hi

I'm new here, but wondered if someone could help. My daughter has been having FBT for around 6 weeks now. Although some things have improved she has not gained any weight. We are from England and she had a care team. I think I am doing everything right at home, but not sure why it is not helping.

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'Around the Dinner Table' Online Forum for Parents and Carers

 

Beginning re-feeding questionOpen in a New Window

Hi all, our college d was just diagnosed with AN.  She got a medical emergency release from her college so that she could finish her finals here at home.  She has been home for a week and we have a treatment plan in place.  She met with the dietitian yesterday and was completely overwhelmed by the meal plan.  Dairy upsets her stomach and she has never liked any meat except for chicken (believe me, I have been making LOTS of chicken).  The good news is that she is able to eat with us now (in October she could not sit down and eat with anyone).  She really wants to get better.  This past week she has been eating 3 meals a day, but she doesn't want to snack/supplement.  Does anyone have any suggestions?  Any great recipes for sneaking in fat or protein?  I know that recovery is a long process and we are just at the beginning of it. Thank you for any advice that you can give.

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'Around the Dinner Table' Online Forum for Parents and Carers

 

need advice on refeedingOpen in a New Window

Hi there,

my 13-year-old daughter has developed AN last summer. She has just come out from a 3wks in hospital.
In hospital she was very brave at following the meal plan.

She came out only yesterday and immediately after 12 hours at home she started refusing food, skipping meals! Today we only managed to feed her 2 meals.

The difficulty we have is that she shuts down, does not talk to us and refuses to move when we ask her to eat.

How do you do it guys? I can persuade my daughter to eat if she does not do or say anything?! 

thanks 


 
 
  

Category:

'Around the Dinner Table' Online Forum for Parents and Carers

 

Interesting article about Math Calculations and EDOpen in a New Window

I found this article very interesting. I wish I'd known about this when my d was in the depths of her illness. She was often working things out in her brain, it never occurred to me that she was doing all that math (although in hindsight, I'm sure she was.)

http://eatingdisordersreview.com/perspectives-teaching-new-math-eds/




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'Around the Dinner Table' Online Forum for Parents and Carers

 

Need to vent a bit...Open in a New Window

Hi my wonderful feast-family,

today I met my cousin who I haven´t seen for a year.
When I met her last year my d was doing really bad and went to IP a week later.
So today we met again and before she even asked how my d is doing she told me that she has informed herself about AN and that she need to tell me that we caused the AN by overprotect our d. She told me that I should not have driven her to school and that it is not normal that we live together with grandparents and that everytime somebody is at home for our d. That it is not normal that I am a housewife and not working and that my d should move far away from us to get some distance.

I know that this is total rubbish. I told her that I will not continue the date under that requirement but she didn´t stop so I turned around and went away.

This was the last family member outside the entire family at my home I had some contact to.
Two friends are left. Everyone else is blaming us.

I know you experienced the same. I know it is wrong. But I am so sad about it.

Tina72

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'Around the Dinner Table' Online Forum for Parents and Carers

 

Young adult, RAN, now binge-eating, treatments?Open in a New Window

My daughter has struggled with restricting for several years. Until 2 years ago, I took care of all meals for her, and brought her weight up to a barely healthy level. Once an adult she insisted that she control all of her meals. I did what I could. She has been seeing on-campus counselors and dietician for 4 years, but no other treatment. In the past year I've seen her weight go up slightly, then down. Although I have no way of knowing what she weighs she looks to me as if she has slipped 1 to 2 pounds below what she weighed when she took back control of her meals. She continues to somewhat restrict, stating that her dietician told her to only eat when she's hungry. In the past year, she has also begun binge-eating (no purging, but she exercises more than I think she should). I have little influence over her, except what I prepare for dinners. She lives at home, still. The binge periods go on for 3-5 days, and occur about once per month.

She wants to do a residential treatment, and has looked at the Emily Program in Seattle. I don't know if residential is really the right level of care for her. It feels extreme. Can anyone here provide some perspective for me, if you feel residential is truly the right level of care, or if you feel something else would be better? Does anyone here have experience with the Emily Program in Seattle? My daughter is easily influenced by professionals, and has little respect for my opinion. She went into her intake appt with Emily Program cheery and looking optimistic. Then she looked like she was about to burst into tears, and seemed angry with me, when it was over. I don't have a lot of influence over her, but I am paying for any treatment. Please ease my mind if residential with Emily would be appropriate level of care for her. I don't want her state, or my relationship with her, to deteriorate any further. Advice?

Category:

'Around the Dinner Table' Online Forum for Parents and Carers

 

In need of helpOpen in a New Window

Hi, just discovered this forum and in need of a bit of advice! 
I recently discovered my 19 year old dd has been engaging in ed behaviours since she was 14   Apparently she would sneak our scale when we left the house, and purge in bags in her room if we were in. She did a damn good (unfortunately) job of hiding it, the only reason I found out is because I discovered an old journal of hers that she overlooked while packing up her things to go to university. I knew about her self harming, but I had absolutely no idea about this, I feel as though I should have managed to connect the dots with all the baggy clothing and her never willing to eat with the rest of the family. She also turned vegetarian when she was 15, and then was vegan for a year until she got quite severely ill because her protein levels were not adequate enough, and so she is now back to being vegetarian.

Her father has also revealed he discovered a bathroom scale when he was helping her move her stuff in to the flat she rents for university. She's now in her second year, and recently got a fitbit as part of a promotion for something, and upon looking at her online profile before she turned it all private and blocked me from it, I found she's been severely restricting food and dropping a lot of weight.I'm just not sure what to do about it. I've tried confronting her, but she's an adult and lives 4 hours away.

She was hospitalised 3 times earlier this year for overdoses, and was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, so I'm not sure if they're at all connected. I just don't know how to help her. She refuses to speak to me about any of it. The only reason I found out about her overdosing is because the university called me, but she has since removed me as her emergency contact for everything.

Any help and advice would definitely be appreciated!!!

Thanks, Ash

Category:

'Around the Dinner Table' Online Forum for Parents and Carers

 

First postOpen in a New Window

Hello, my 14 year old daughter is 8 weeks into this journey. We are based in the UK and she has been seen by our local service. Her weight loss has been rapid and is terrifying to me. She has not been weighed for over a week but I’m sure she will have lost more this week. We have been given a meal plan and it is so far from what she is currently eating. We have seen some acceptance of a small amount of extra breakfast over the last 4 days. Yesterday she accepted a programme to gradually (and I mean gradually) increase her lunch and I have agreed to supervise this by taking her out of school to try to achieve this. She has not made any progress with dinner or daytime snacks. She will eat a small (about a third to a half of what is recommended) evening snack. Our biggest difficulty with the evening meal is trying to plate our her food. This is just not happening and she gets very angry. Do you think we have made enough progress or should I push to take control of her dinner plate? I expect she would refuse to eat the meal and go to bed hungry. It’s possible this may show her we are taking control but it may undermine the negotiations we have had over lunch and the progress there. This illness has just come out of nowhere and I really want to hope that we can turn it round quickly- although I appreciate theee are so many stories of this taking months or years... sorry for the long post

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'Around the Dinner Table' Online Forum for Parents and Carers

 

Offering support in IsraelOpen in a New Window

I am heading up a F.E.A.S.T task force in Israel, and I am looking to connect with other Israeli parents so that we can get together a group. Feel free to contact me at jkrasna@gmail.com so that we can connect! Also, I offer free peer counseling and support to any parent who needs it; if you send me an email, I would be happy to give you my phone # so we can talk. 

Category:

'Around the Dinner Table' Online Forum for Parents and Carers

 

Its happening all over againOpen in a New Window

Hello everyone, I’m new to this site, and hope you don’t mind me just spilling my mind. I just don't know who else to speak to or what else I can possibly do. 

A bit of background my little sister was showing signs of ED 2 years ago, it climaxed just after Christmas when she was taken into an eaten disorder unit as a priority 1 due to her slowing heart rate and dangerously low BMI. It still sends shivers down my spine seeing photos of her from that time.

For exactly a year she stayed at the residential unit, on and off tube feeds, in a wheel chair, self harming – it all happened, and as a family we got through it and were there for her, sharing visits throughout the week so she was never alone. I missed her so much. Most of the family took part in FBT weekly, which was tough on everyone. After 8/9 months it finally looked like she was ready to fight the ED and became stronger, eating what she was asked to – I also fell pregnant and I think this spurred her on to get out of hospital.  Just before Christmas last year she was discharged as an outpatient, my beautiful, happy, confident sister was back. So for a good while things were looking up, and we all started to relax a little. Then six months ago, the food limitation started, she stopped having extras or started making excuses for not being in around meal times.  She spoke to the unit but their attitude seemed to be, they were just waiting for her to get worse again so she would be admitted because the outpatient therapies they were giving her were not working.

 

Now for the last few months we’ve noticed signs that happened before her hospital admission – I think to be honest we’ve all been in denial thinking, no it’s just a bad day, but here we are again, she’s depressed, refusing to eat, becoming aggressive / upset if we try and mention it. The good friends who stuck by her, she no longer wants to see and people who are no good or have hurt her in the past seem to be her choice for company now, it’s like self harm in as many ways as possible.

 

I know I can never fully understand how my sister feels (I have been to conferences and family days at the ED centre) and without sounding selfish, I really don’t know how we can all get through this again, I am a new mum – working full time and I’m so worried it will break my poor mum if she has to watch her little girl go through hell again and take us with her. After all this time sometimes all I want to do when she cries down the phone “it’s not as easy as just eating” is shake her and say “I know but I don’t know what else to do or say – I just NEED you to be better, I want you back!” 

Obviously no matter what we will all be there for her but we don't feel we have the support from the ED clinic. One of the nurses actually said to her once "i dont know if there's anything else we can do for you" You have no idea how terrifying that is when you think that if the worst does happen, there's no one there to catch you.

 

I know no one can fix this and the inevitable is about to happen -  I just needed to write this.  Sometimes talking to friends / family, this has become a topic that is just always going to be “there” or it’s an elephant in the room, I think people even tire of hearing about it sometimes and no one understands how devastating it is or how the smallest step (ie eating a square of chocolate outwith a meal plan) in the right direction can mean the world! I know it’s not easy on any family, but I literally don’t think mine can survive this again and I’m so scared. Thank you for reading xx

Category:

'Around the Dinner Table' Online Forum for Parents and Carers


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