My daughter has made and is making good progress, but the stigma attached to eating disorders has a direct impact on her.

If she had a metabolic disorder or diabetes for example, she could explain to her friends that it is very important that she eats sufficiently, at regular intervals. However, as it is anorexia that makes this essential for her well-being, she does not feel able to tell anybody. She fears that people will jump to conclusions about her and us.

Not enlisting the support of those around her, makes her more vulnerable to relapse. The average student can handle the erratic hours and eating patterns that may arise over a hectic weekend, or music festival. For my daughter missed meals, for whatever reason (even with no intent or desire to lose weight), can be the start of another downwards spiral.  - tryingmum  

Learn more about The Functional Role of Nutrition and Anorexia Nervosa

We are at the two year anniversary of our ED diagnosis. We had some incredibly dark days, and our D still struggles with body image and behavior at times.  But, last night, she devoured BBQ ribs and had seconds.   It was awesome.  Keep fighting every day.  It is worth it.  -minnesotadad

Read more about what Recovery from an ED looks like...

I think this is where the 'parental confidence' piece is really huge. She had a freak out, you guys stayed calm and stuck with the plan and she got through. You are not back at square 1. Ed is going to rear it's ugly head many more times on this journey. This is part of it and you managed it. This is where our staying calm and steady helps them to continue to trust us and rely on us to guide them out of the cave.

 

"We love you...we know what we are doing".....I love that! You do love your girl and you do know what you are doing. You are not afraid of ed and she sees that and it makes her feel safe.

-anotherbite from the thread Arghh she weighed herself

Oh, the memories you've stirred up - - like the blasted measuring cups!!  Aaack - we would go away to the mountains for the weekend and d would get this panicked look on her face and ask if I'd packed the measuring cups, diet scale and meal plan handbook.  And of course I always did, and hated myself for doing it, but I wanted her to eat and shouldn't wouldn't eat without them.  H has now torn up the meal plan book in a million little pieces, jumped up and down on them, and them swept them up and thrown them away.  I kid you not. 

 

Now here's the great thing you just made me realize - we still have measuring cups galore, and the diet scale is still on the shelf.  D is in stage 2 and is getting her own food sometimes now, but it just occurred to me that she is serving herself without measuring.  I hadn't stopped to notice it before now, because we'd been feeding her for months and she's only recently entered the kitchen again.  YAY - there is life after a meal plan!!!

- 3katz from the thread Traveling to USCD/Miami how to eat

I can't speak for others, but my daughter still shows no insight about 'anorexic thoughts'.  They were HER thoughts.

Our D, at 20, is not capable of analyzing her thoughts in a detached and unbiased way.  Asking her why she thinks a certain thought or wants to do a certain thing is more likely to elicit a rationale than an examination of the origin of the thought itself.  "I'm sleeping in because I'm in college and that's a normal college thing to do.  One breakfast doesn't matter that much in the long run."  "I'm not avoiding you, I just want to see my friends."  Asking her to analyze her thoughts over and over just makes her find more justification for them because her thoughts do not seem irrational to her.

In hindsight, she recognizes that some of the thoughts she had while she was very very ill didn't make sense.  The thing is: they made sense at the time.  All the insight in the world wouldn't have convinced her otherwise.

Insight or recognition, for our family, means that our d realizes that she must eat every 3-4 hours, that she can't skip meals, and that she must keep her weight above a certain minimum.  It's an understanding of her physical limitations, not an evaluation of her thoughts.  She understands this and is on board with this.

We emphasize with her that thoughts do not cause AN.  AN is a genetic illness that is triggered by malnutrition. - Colleen

To learn more about Eating Disorders, check out The Facts and Defining Recovery