Extraconfused makes a good point to have medical professionals rule out any other possible physical problems (although, once you mention eating problems, it becomes instantly psychological to the mainstream medical community).  Adriennels, you should find a good gastroenterologist and get an appointment to rule out any physical problems.  Keep structured, high nutrition going while you wait for your appointment. 

The symptoms Adriennels describes--depression, weight loss, difficulty eating & chewing & swallowing, the vomiting, and the fact that the parent thinks this might be an eating disorder--are pretty much all that anyone uses to diagnose.  As mentioned, if every meal is difficult, that's disordered eating, and all the parenting strategies we advocate for here still apply.  It's unfortunate, but there's not much involved in diagnosing an eating disorder. As Laura Collins says, no one has got this figured out. 

Adriennels, you ask about vomiting unintentionally.  First, I have always advocated that all symptoms of eating disorders (including purging) be labeled as involuntary--using the term "voluntary" tends to keep the illness purely in the psychological field.  Vomiting or gagging while eating, at the table, while with others, in my opinion, is anxiety-related, food-related.  Just to make this more complicated, I read on the Mayo Clinic website that 70% of gastrointestinal problems are anxiety-related.

Adriennels, you can help your daughter eat (and not gag or vomit) by creating a calm atmosphere around the anxiety-ridden eating.  During meals and snacks, use distractions like radio or TV or games at the table.  Stay at the table after eating, go sit together and do a hobby, or go for a slow walk together. It's so very frustrating to care for someone with disordered eating--keep calm and take care of yourself.
sarahbandeUSA from the Help! Vomiting, college in fall, new to forum thread

Dr. Sarah Ravin has written a blog post on navigating phase II that felt like it was written for me, and I think many of you here will feel the same: http://www.blog.drsarahravin.com/eating-disorders/navigating-phase-ii

I put this in its own thread rather than the phase II thread, because I think many of us who have finished the refeeding process don't even know what phase we're in. We're just confused. I thought we were phase III for a while because it had been so long -- what did I know?

Anyway, this post answered a lot of questions for me and gave me some much-needed motivation. I can't wait for my husband to read it. I'm ready to make some plans.
gobsmacked from the excellent article by Dr. Ravin on Phase 2 thread

Anybody ever forget it was snack time?

It's only Tuesday and since the weekend I have forgotten it was snack time !! 3 !! times.

My darling daughter said she knew it was snack time and didn't say anything because she wanted to see how it affected her weight to miss them.

I find that line of reasoning very troubling but I have redoubled my efforts, her weight held steady, and her state is fabulous so I'm hoping that I didn't do any permanent damage...
Jangled from the Forgetting snacks thread

As you can see it is not actually finished yet but Pam MacDonald is open to suggestions.  I am hoping that the forum will be one of the links.

Cathy, she has some more worksheets that she feels would be good for your situation and I can put you in contact?

We’ve found that our coaches often find that the carers they work with (mums/dads) approach the illness from different angles and we’ve recently designed a worksheet aimed at encouraging mums and dads to reflect on the advantages and disadvantages of their own styles and how they can develop a more middle ground but also maximizing their individual strengths
Charlotte from the new website thread

Hi,
We have just started re-feeding for the second time, and I am wondering what to do when our 14-yer old d says "No, I'm not eating that."  She will eat MANY things, and she might even be able to get back to her goal weight, but she still restricts (no cookies, sour cream, other stuff).

Last time, she was motivated by earning points and privileges (juggling soccer ball, taking a short walk, etc), and ultimately to play soccer, but this time the ED voice is way much stronger.  It is a LOT harder this time around.  She has started with new ED behaviors that I've only read about before.  I hate ED.

Anyway, she just says, "No, I won't eat that.  What can you do to me now?", and she'll leave the room.

What have others done to get past the restricting?  I tried giving her 3 chances, but then I wasn't sure what would happen when I got to 3?!!

Thanks for your ideas.
Cascade from the Refeeding question Thread