Thursday, June 28, 2012
ED is so far removed from our family's life that if people don't know us or our d's history they would NEVER know that ED was a part of our lives for a couple of years. We don't hide this fact but we don't go around talking or sharing about Eating Disorders or our past.
I know that we will have to address this when dd gets ready to go to college. Stephanie M. (Super T) told me to send her to college with a contract and relapse prevention plan. I also envision having a conversation with her future husband and maybe at other milestones of her life such as pregnancy, etc. But until those times come, we are enjoying our d without the shadow of the Eating Disorder. I admit, there are a couple of things that will still trigger discomfort in me: seeing her running in a treadmill or if she says "I look fat in this picture" but that is temporary and I quickly recovery from the gut reaction.
For about 2 years I kept reacting like a bull in a china shop at every little thing that triggered ED fears in me. My gifted communicator of a d, let me know that it hurt her that I couldn't let the ED go. She also said to me "I NEED you to stop seeing me through filters, the ED filter, the ADHD filter, the LD filter" See ME for who I AM! Boy, I needed her to say that to me and I am honoring her request.
My wish for all of you Mommas of young ones is that you will also experience this kind of freedom for the years to come. I hope that your young kids will be able to have normal lives with you monitoring in the background. I hope that you will be able to relax mentally and emotionally and create this sixth sense that allows youto monitor as a natural part of your parenting do but it doesn't cause you stress.
Our FBT told us, when she dismissed us from T "always assume that what you see if teenage behavior first. Don't jump t the conclusion that it is ED immediately. She also told me to look for patterns of behavior and not assume that every individual behavior was ED driven". Our children receive a gift when we are able to let this fear go and enjoy them as healthy children (some time) after we see evidence of their remission/recovery.
Maria from the Preventing relapse thread