One of my procrastination go tos are TED Talks. They are fantastic because they are fantastic; and, because well, really, they only require minor mental gymnastics to spin it like you are actually engaged in beneficial activity rather than time wasting.
So, the other night when I should have been outside sorting recycling in the freezing cold I came across this gem. Thank you, Professor Amy Cuddy, for giving us the evidence base for “fake it until you make it”:
Readers of the F.E.A.S.T. caregiver support forum Around The Dinner Table will be familiar with the term ‘fake it until you make it’. It is repeated on the forum…..a lot. One of the things that eating disorders rob us of (and I mean ‘held up in a dark alley‘ kinda rob) is parental confidence; and, like, some cruel, awful joke, one of the things that is most needed to care give successfully through an eating disorder diagnosis is confidence.
Confidence is paramount to success. So paramount that we say, even when you don’t feel it…fake it.
A parent lays out the why in this ATDT Hall of Fame post:
“….As the realization that their child is struggling with an eating disorder sinks in, families first try to correct this at home. If this isn’t successful they begin the quest for professional help. If they succeed in finding this support, a transformation in the parent/child relationship begins.
Experts begin to supplant parental competency in the mind of their child. Often parents begin to question their own capacity to meet their child’s needs. But, [no matter what treatment model a family is using], they will ultimately have the responsibility to help their child find the way forward, at home.
When parents are filled with self-doubt, when they shrink in the face of rage and resistance, when they vacillate around the imperative of full nutrition and enough time for complete medical recuperation; this can undo all their efforts. Their patient is uncertain about both the necessity and the efficacy of the treatment itself…. Backing off, or wavering in treatment decisions is, by far, the surest way to prolong your child’s suffering and this nightmare for your family.
The greater your belief that you are stronger, smarter, and have more staying power than your child’s illness; the greater the chance your child will come to believe that too.”
So, parents in the trenches, watch the above video- then before meals, head to a quite place and…2 minutes…tilt your chin up, stretch your arms out in a Victory stance and hold….2 minutes….then go serve that meal and, fake it until you become it!