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Refusing her mealOpen in a New Window

I just need some advice.
Just tried to serve my daughter lunch but she is refusing to come to the dinner table (we had the same thing for lunch yesterday, which she ate).
Do I keep insisting and if she dowsn't eat it serve it for dinner?
I'm going out of my mind. She had been doing well the last couple of weeks after barely finishing a meal for the two weeks prior. 
I noticed this morning that today is a tough day for her.
Unfortunately it has become clear early on that the more we push, the more stubborn she is but I'm afraid that if I give in we'll never get ahead. Besides that I don't know what else to offer her. It is very difficult to get everything she needs into a meal when she's still determined to keep going with her vegan diet.


'Around the Dinner Table' Online Forum for Parents and Carers


Sleep overs allowed?Open in a New Window


We are only about 3 weeks into refeeding and of course, it's had it's ups, but mostly downs so far.  We are on a pretty tight schedule, food wise, and are making sure that our D is getting the calories and nutrients that she needs.

However, she asked us about sleeping over sometime at a friend's house.  We weren't sure how we would manage her food schedule if she wasn't at our house.  

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.


The K's


'Around the Dinner Table' Online Forum for Parents and Carers


Vitamin supplementation prevents anorexia?Open in a New Window

Has anyone else come across this article?  Appreciate any feedback. Thanks so much.

The K's

Vitamin Supplementation Prevents Anorexia

(OMNS February 9, 2008) Anorexia is primarily due to vitamin deficiency. Approximately one in twenty teenage girls in America is struggling with an eating disorder. Parents can help eliminate the risk of anorexia by providing their children with vitamin supplements.

Anorexia is an acknowledged clinical marker of beriberi, the disease specifically caused by a deficiency of vitamin B1 (thiamine). Anorexia is also commonly observed as an early symptom of pellagra (niacin deficiency) and is a known complication of scurvy, vitamin C deficiency. Prevention is especially important, because beriberi/anorexia often does not respond well even to treatment with high doses of thiamine for months, and sometimes does not respond at all. But as a rule, high potency vitamin supplements are an effective cure for the loss of muscle mass caused by beriberi and the skin lesions caused by pellagra.

The vitamin B1 in almost every multivitamin and B-complex vitamin pill is either thiamine mononitrate or thiamine hydrochloride. The body’s ability to absorb these two forms of thiamine is limited by the maximum amount that can be handled by the body’s two specialized thiamine transport proteins. . This means many doses per day of oral thiamine are necessary for effective treatment. Another class of thiamine molecules, called allithiamines, are much better absorbed. Since allithiamines are not included in standard multivitamin preparations, we recommend their reformulation to include this specific form of B1.

The conventional medical approach to eating disorders such as anorexia typically includes psychological/behavioral treatment, medication, and food-groups dietetics. It is surprisingly rare for physicians to link eating disorders with vitamin deficiency, and few doctors recommend vitamin supplements for prevention.

Dieting without supplementation causes vitamin deficiency, and vitamin deficiency can lead to anorexia. Dieting is the number one cause of vitamin/mineral deficiency in America. Deficiency is entirely preventable with nutrition supplements. A fraction of the population is more prone to becoming thiamine deficient while dieting due to genetic conditions associated with proteins that bind thiamine . The risk of thiamine deficiency is also increased by eating processed foods. A high intake of simple carbohydrates requires increased thiamine intake. Vitamin and mineral supplements contain no calories, and do not cause weight loss nor weight gain. They do help promote normal appetite.

Harold Foster, PhD writes: 
"In both open and closed trials in sub-Saharan Africa, mixtures of nutrients were given to HIV-positive patients, some of whom were in the late stages of AIDS. Even just twice the US RDA of ascorbic acid and four times the US RDA for thiamine resulted in improvements of appetite . . . after only a few days of supplementation."

Erik Paterson, MD, writes: 
"Many years ago, an emaciated, teenage girl was made to come to see me by her worried parents because of her revulsion against food. She admitted that she hardly ate anything, but explained that she felt that she was fat: a typical case of anorexia nervosa. I tried to persuade her to eat right. She adamantly refused. So I made a deal with her. I pointed out that by not eating she was making herself malnourished with respect to vitamins. The deal was that I would not pester her to eat if she would take vitamin pills, specifically vitamin C and B-complex vitamins. She agreed. Two weeks later she and her parents returned to tell me that she had developed a strong appetite. After another month, her emaciation was clearly disappearing. She never became anorexic again."

A well-formulated daily multivitamin supplement, at least 1,000 mg per day of vitamin C, plus additional B-vitamins will greatly reduce the incidence of anorexia and other eating disorders. If you are helping to care for a family member with anorexia, and your physician didn’t recommend vitamin supplements, get a second opinion.


'Around the Dinner Table' Online Forum for Parents and Carers


Advice with GP negligence (UK)Open in a New Window

Hi I’ve posted last year when my dd was in a bad place and sadly I’m back again Just to give a quick update my dd is now 20 and hit a very dark place this time last year but managed to turn it around. Sadly she’s had a rough time at uni and has relapsed again. She’s now at a bmi of 15.
She decided to go to her GP today to get a reality check on how much she has damaged herself in hopes of kick starting her recovery, however this is the complete opposite of what happened.

All she wanted was blood tests, ecg and blood pressure done. The GP weighed her, checked her chest and completely fobbed her off. She told the GP all the (very worrying symptoms) she had in the past two months which include, sharp chest pains on and off, shortness of breath, unable to digest food, acid reflux 24/7, loss of sensation in finger tips and upper legs on and off. Her stomach looks 6 months pregnant just by drinking a small amount of water. Her GP did not care! Told her she had panic disorder and not an eating disorder even though she is diagnosed with Anorexia! Did not care that she has a bmi of 15!!!! Because she’s had a lower BMI previously told her simply to “stop making yourself sick” after my dd confessed of purging on average three times a day (she clearly has a problem and telling her off won’t help)

My dd has done a complete 180 and gone from wanting to recover to never eating again. It’s so hard to deal with this illness when your child is an adult as you have no parental rights and they are their own person. I was wondering if anyone in the UK has dealt with this kind of disgusting treatment and what’s the best course of action to take?

I thought CAMHS was bad enough I really do not expect medical professionals to further trigger a very vunrable young person


'Around the Dinner Table' Online Forum for Parents and Carers


ANOpen in a New Window

Our daughter of 19 yrs was hospitalised(inpatient) with AN at 16 , and was re-admitted after she turned 18, then discharged and  is home with my wife and I.


The questions I have are:

*D seems to have negotiated with her Dr to maintain a “safe” weight for her(due to privacy laws, we don’t know our daughter’s weight, have no access to her Dr or Counsellor, without her consent, which she refuses to give.

* Re blood tests, as per an ED conference source, it seems that ED can steal from the body to give a Dr the false impression that the bloods are normal. Does that apply until weight is fully restored(percentile weight?), or not?

*is one hour of private counselling(trained in ED) a week going to cut it?


I listened to the ANZAED webinar with Drs Hill and Peck May 17, which was encouraging on the one hand, although we lack the funding to bring it here to New Zealand.


'Around the Dinner Table' Online Forum for Parents and Carers


Decoding Anorexia: How Breakthroughs in Science Offer Hope for Eating DisordeOpen in a New Window

Has anyone else reD this book and if so, have you found any of the information useful in your treatment?

Thanks so much,

The K’s


'Around the Dinner Table' Online Forum for Parents and Carers


Chidren and adolescent anorexia - great articleOpen in a New Window


'Around the Dinner Table' Online Forum for Parents and Carers


ED, suicidality, self harm...omg!!Open in a New Window

Hello all,
I have not posted myself in a long time though have been reading a lot. Not sure if I have a true question but could really use any advice anyone may have to offer....
brief (as possible) history....15 year old daughter diagnosed with restricting AN at age 12.  WR (yes fully so) through a hospital stay and subsequent home feeding fairly quickly (30-40 lb weight gain).  self harm and suicidality have kept her in one program or another for the past year and a half.  her ED symptoms have popped up periodically resulting in frequent trips to the hospital and a lengthy stay at Sick Kids last summer to regain medical stability....she become tachycardic quickly when she stops eating.  We (her current care team in secure treatment and the family) have determined that her eating stoppage starts as a way to self harm but quickly gets out of her control as ED thoughts start to take over.  We are once again in the beginnings of a self imposed hunger strike (behaviour) which I feel very certain will once again get out of her control and will result in a hospital visit.
Not sure what my questions are except, has anyone else out there had a similar experience where their child got to fully weight restored (yes I am very certain of this) and then started to display suicidality/self harming behaviour and then ED recurrence?  I am really struggling lately to find hope and answers and just wanting to save my kid's life and truly don't know which came first ED or thoughts of suicide.  She displayed signs of social anxiety prior to ED symptoms, in fact we feel this anxiety may be what brought on the ED. We have gotten so very close to better and coming home so many times and then something happens to trigger an incident of severe self harm or eating issues. It is getting hard to find the hope though I am hanging on by a thread....
Thoughts?  Thanks 


'Around the Dinner Table' Online Forum for Parents and Carers


Answers to Anorexia by James Greenblatt, MDOpen in a New Window


I found a very interesting book that basically says that in order to heal from Anorexia, the brain must heal, and that can really only happen with the proper supplements, vitamins, minerals, probiotics, etc.

Has anyone else taken this approach, and if so, did you find it helpful?  It makes sense to me, as I have studied a lot of nutrition, due to my being a chiropractor for a living.  But I was just wondering if anyone else has tried this approach and if so, what were the results?

Thanks so much to everyone!

The K's


'Around the Dinner Table' Online Forum for Parents and Carers


Recovery MarkersOpen in a New Window

My daughter has told her team that she considers herself recovered. No idea yet as to whether they believe her or me!

Also today she did get a bit of a bleed (maybe the start of a period).

Of course one bleed is not a return of regular periods.

She is about 4kg from where she was when she last had a period - 17 months ago and is still very socially nervous, will only eat certain foods and doesn’t have friends etc

What was your teams definition of recovery? Did you feel and know recovery? Am I just not recognising it and worrying every day for nothing?

Glad to receive your thoughts


'Around the Dinner Table' Online Forum for Parents and Carers


Sadly, a 180Open in a New Window

I started to write yesterday - but found I was not really sure where I was going with my post- part vent - part fear -part reaching out for info -- I guess I am still doing all the those - but after reading something Tina wrote (so thankful for her wisdom and willingness to share)- something about an extinction burst, I found a little more direction.

Like everything else I have been introduced to in this ED world - I began to learn about this phenomenon.  Here is my concern, and I value your feedback:

My 19 year old D is weight restored.  She has been flying high with various academic accomplishments, work accolades, eating out with friends, staying at university for 3-4 days of the week the last 6 weeks of school -- then yesterday BANG! Self loathing talk, she'd rather be thin and miserable than fat like she is now (she is weight restored - NOT fat by any means -- ironically, just last week she looked at a picture of herself that she took when she was feeling negative about her looks and feeling fat -- she looked at the picture a few days later and said, "I don't look fat there.  Why did I think that?")  She has since taken a 180 - so negative, no joy in anything (her words) - she just sounds so depressed - I don't know where that came from, and quite frankly its frightening and just so sad on so many levels.

After she went on a totally negative rant (yet assured me she was not suicidal and could never follow through with anything like that) - about wanting to starve - she went on to other things and then said, "my stomach is growling so I actually CAN eat." At which point she went into the house and ate the other half of a turkey sandwich.  She has been eating quite normally (until this last week) - even grabbing a late ice cream snack, peanut butter crackers, a bowl of cereal -- very normal.  I wouldn't say her eating has changed much, although she has said some foods are upsetting her stomach so she has cut them out for now (not high caloric foods - lettuce, beans, corn, broccoli) - it's her behavior.  I think she is taking a in a bit less calories (but of course I really don't know what she is eating when we are not together). I know she eats a good breakfast of about 400 calories daily.  She eats protein bar snacks, drinks protein shakes, has a sandwich for lunch daily, celery and peanut butter snacks and almond butter snacks. When she is out with friends she'll even eat a burger with fries.  But her behavior is so out of character now and so out of whack. The fire and love looks lost from her eyes.  Even when I first saw her AN self, she still had a softness in her eyes. This is all so strange, sad, and scary.  I'm wondering if we should look into medication? On Monday she will be able to attend all her therapies consistently (everything was a little crazy with finals and a weird work week - which I had hoped she would back out of - but didn't - it might be good in that she will be around people and busy - which helps - but I have deep reservations).

Sorry for the long post - I value the knowledge your experiences have brought you, and wanted to be sure you had a clear picture of what we are experiencing.


'Around the Dinner Table' Online Forum for Parents and Carers


WR but still having ED thoughts/behaviorsOpen in a New Window

Hello, I am the mother of a 13 boy with RAN. I am a long time viewer of this website, as was recommended by CHOP. My son has been struggling with anorexia for nearly 2 years now. For the first year, he had a brief stay at CHOP IP and did their outpatient FBT for the remaining year.

It weight restored him however, we were never able to have him stay for long on his historic growth curve. He was originally on the 75th percentile. He was at here many times, but ED behaviors such as restriction and compulsive exercise (especially exercise) was still abundant. Currently, he maintains around the 50th percentile and looks, admittingly, very healthy and athletic. I am ashamed to state that myself, I am so sorry.

I just could not get him to eat the 3000 calories he needed to maintain. If I dared, he would either yell violently, start breaking household items, get physically violent, run away from home, and in one case, attempt suicide.

After a year at CHOP, I gave up. I decided this wasn’t working along with our CHOP therapist. So, we used a different type of method. In our new method, we (the parents) weren’t involved and my son is allowed an hour of exercise per day and around 2000 calories. We were told not to be the “food police” and that focus would be more directed at his depression and anxiety. At first I was skeptical, as CHOP claimed the eating disorder was causing the depression and anxiety, thus refusing to treat it. However, after seeing my son slowly become less and less depressed, and more like his old self, I am beginning to wonder if this was all we needed all along. Most of the time, I truly believe I have my son back.

However, he is still fasting throughout the day and only eating a larger dinner. Sometimes I fear for the compulsive exercise. He is still weighing himself daily. Sometimes I wonder if I should go back to the Maudsley method. However, then I am reminded of all the pain it caused in the past. The self harm as a result of feeling controlled, running away multiple times, 2 suicide attempts. I am just so conflicted right now.

I would really like some feedback. Looking at this, it is so long! Thank you for reading!


'Around the Dinner Table' Online Forum for Parents and Carers


Anxiety, perfectionism & OCDOpen in a New Window

Hi! I'm back with an update on my 16 yr old. He recovered from his wisdom teeth removal easily - which is a blessing! I made smoothies 1-2 times a day but he was back to eating normally in less than a week.

The month of April was almost "normal" but this month has been a lot more challenging. Not in terms of food but anxiety. It is the last few weeks of the school year and he is under a lot of extra stress with testing, presentations and general end of year stuff. My H and I have been extra supportive to him as he moves through this period but I am also coming to the conclusion that he has more anxiety then what I originally thought. He has always been somewhat of a perfectionist and inflexible but the ED increased this. He is early in recovery and WR so hopefully some of this will decrease as he continues to heal but I also believe seeing an anxiety specialist would help. I spoke with a gentleman that works specifically with teens and young adults on anxiety, ocd, perfectionism and ridigity. This dr has a waiting list but believes his schedule will open up over the summer. I have not shared this with my s yet - waiting until after school is out. My H is not very supportive of a therapist but I think he wants to avoid any more conflict (which I totally understand).

I would love some advice on the subject - if your teen needed therapy for anxiety/ocd. Also, any advice on getting him to therapy. I can totally say this is not negotiable as he is still 16.

My worry and anxiety is once again thru the roof which doesnt help anyone (seeing a therapist myself) so feeling defeated and lacking confidence.

Thanks so much. Xo


'Around the Dinner Table' Online Forum for Parents and Carers


2 fast 2 furiousOpen in a New Window

So latest on D. She is nearing her "target" weight after just 3 months of refeed. Her therapist suggests that we move her to phase 2. D admits to still having ED thoughts and wanting to restrict, count calories, and feeling guilty after eating. D's biological dad even suggested that D be allowed to eat on her own at school with friends and unsupervised. Her therapist agreed it may be a good idea?? On top of that, it was suggested she start basketball workouts in June. Wife and I feel that even though we are nearing her weight restoration, that we are giving her the reigns too soon and flirting with a relapse. (Can you call it a relapse if she isn't in remission yet in our minds?) Therapist seemed to insinuate that we are being over-sensitive to the AN. Wife and I just feel it would be better in long run to slow things down, get a few more pounds on D. We are considering the basketball if her ED MD is in agreement but feel basketball, plus letting D be in charge of some of her meals is a little too fast and we are a little furious/frustrated. Are we being oversensitive or too fearful of letting her move into phase 2. I just don't want to D or us to move backwards!! 


'Around the Dinner Table' Online Forum for Parents and Carers


In despair... please help!! Hair lossOpen in a New Window

Hi all,

My daughter is in constant despair...she was underweight for four years. As a result, her hair has become very thin (each strand has become a lot finer) to the point where it has half the density it used to, and her eyebrows have become very sparse. She is devastated about all of this. She has been at a normal weight now for about 7 months now and has been eating healthy and regular meals but we have not seen any improvement in her hair. I am wondering if anyone has had a similar experience and knows how long it will take for her hair to grow back as thick as it used to? She is very worried that she has ruined her hair forever and it will not go back to how it used to be. 


'Around the Dinner Table' Online Forum for Parents and Carers

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