published by permission of the author and her family
Writing saved Sophie Sheina Szew’s life and she aspires to show the world that literature can be a lifesaver, one that people of any size, and drowning in any struggle, can fit into. Sophie is seventeen years old and is recovering from anorexia nervosa. Writing helped her turn her gaze into the light when she nearly fell into Death’s black-hole-pupils. This is Sophie’s first publicly shared piece, and she hopes that her writing will inspire people to stay afloat.
When she was little,
Her language had quite
A simple lexicon:
Mami,
Papi
Agua
Peepee
She grew a bit,
And her tongue
Uttered a new language
The language of
Weird
Normal
Stupid
Friend?
She grew some more,
And she came across
The ancient language
Of Instagram,
With the words of
Fat
Diet
Calorie
Russian twist
But she kept growing,
And found herself Speaking
Yet another language;
This time it was
Rhythmic gymnastics
Jewish studies
Honors class
Final exam
And then she stopped growing.
Her life became
Restriction
Exercise
Skinny?
Sad
Eventually, she shrank.
And to keep her from dying,
She was thrown
Into a new language:
Re-feeding
Bradycardia
Nasogastric tube
Weight restoration
A message to you:
That is never enough.
People like her need
To learn the language of
Coping
Catharsis
Cognition
Connection
And now,
She grows again
And finds herself
Amidst a new language.
It is
Family
Volunteering
Writing
Speaking
Beautiful! Thank you so much for sharing your powerful poetry Sophie!
Beautifully written- poignant and powerful, just like Sophie!
I loved reading this and am so impressed with how far you’ve come! You inspire me to recover and I know you will too!
I love the movement of this poem–the progression, regression, rebirth! I love, Sophie, that you found a way to revise your life into something strong, beautiful, and enduring. I love that you found the secret to recovery via using your unique talents for helping others to help yourself as well. I love you, Sophie, and I love FEAST for their wisdom in choosing to publish this moving account of your reconnection with the world. You are a gift and a light for all of us, regardless of our specific challenges/ afflictions. Thank you. Gorgeous.
Thank you for sharing! Very powerful and inspiring!! 💕
Thank you for sharing this. Such a poignant reflection and insight into your journey. Really helpful.
Thank you Sophie. A beloved family member struggles now as you have struggled. Your words bring hope when hope has been hard to find. Maybe you wrote because you had to and it met a personal need, but know you gave a precious gift to unknown others.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings through such beautiful words Sopie. A powerful piece of literature that hits the core of anorexia. It has made me cry tears of happiness for you and given me strength in a difficult time. I am a primary carer for my daughter. Keep up the writing as you are a very talented young lady 🙂
Thank you for sharing such a beautiful piece. The words are beautiful, the path is one our family recognizes, and the hope and light at the end is hopeful and inspiring! I really like how you structured the verses, thank you again for putting this to paper.
Thank you for this powerful description of your difficult journey. Bravo for breaking the monster’s grip, and for moving on to creative and helping ways,